By Rachel Z. Roth, M.Ed., Director of Educational Support Services, Mind by Design
As parents, we are always looking for ways to help our children, teens, and young adults be the best version of themselves. When your child has the added layer of a neurodiverse brain (one that thinks and learns differently), it can be quite challenging for them to figure out how to navigate a world that isnโt traditionally very accommodating of people who think or act differently.
As you learn more about how your child takes in and processes information, keep in mind that it may differ from your own approach, which can be frustrating, especially if you do not know or understand why they canโt see it โyour wayโ. In the world of special education and neurodiversity, understanding how children and young adults learn is a big part of how we help support them in skill acquisition, generalization, and maintenance.
Children often need more structure than they are willing to admit; they often get easily frustrated when things do not go as expected. When they experience frustration, that can lead to higher levels of stress, chaotic thinking, and sometimes even impulsive decisions because they donโt like the situation they are in. As parents, how you respond to your child when they are in this mode is incredibly important, as they look to you for help and guidance.
What We Know About How the Brain Learns & Develops
Neuroscience teaches that the brain is โplasticโ (flexible) and therefore capable of learning new things. The younger we are, the easier it is for us to create new connections, build new habits, acquire new skills, and adapt to new ways of learning or thinking. For an individual with a neurodiverse brain, the journey to developing new skills may look different than for a neurotypical individual. That being said, there really is no โone true wayโ of doing things, nor is there a โone size fits allโ approach to supporting learning. We need to understand that everyoneโs brain works and learns a little differently. Therefore, we need to help each individual learn and develop skills and strategies that work best for the way their brains work.
Did you know that we actually have to train our brains to learn how to read? We are not innately born with this skill. It is our exposure to language, taking it in through our senses, that helps us learn to interpret language, associate sounds with letters, recognize letter patterns, and see combinations of letters as words. The fact that we can train our brains to do this proves that there are other things we can โtrain our brainโ to do. Itโs important to recognize that just because we arenโt good at something right now, that doesnโt mean that we canโt develop the skills we need to improve and grow. Some examples of this are when we learn how to ride a bike, play an instrument, or learn how to play a new sport. Repeated practice and exposure help us build the connections necessary to perform these skills, so that we can access that memory later whenever we need to apply it to a situation or environment. The same can be done for learning new skills that support improved learning outcomes at school.
Using What We Know to Support Brain Development & Growth
In the field of education, researchers have discovered that instead of individuals having one true learning style, we actually have a series of learning preferences. These guide our approach to learning, taking in new information, applying that information, and using it to aid in future learning. Additionally, neuroscientists have done brain imaging studies that show that new brain areas are activated when new skills are acquired and used by an individual who had weaker skills prior to remediation. Therefore, we know that interventions and remediation can help children and young adults learn to rewire their brains as well as activate parts of their brains that may be underused or more dormant.
The prefrontal cortex of our brain, located behind the forehead, can be equated to the โair traffic controllerโ of our daily lives. When children are in school, they are learning and acquiring the skills necessary to train the prefrontal cortex region of the brain to perform very specific types of tasks (decision-making, problem-solving, planning, organizing, and other executive functioning skills). The fact is that our prefrontal cortex is still developing and creating new connections until our mid to late twenties. This is part of the reason why teenagers struggle with these skills; their brains just havenโt figured all of this out yet. When you throw hormones into the mix, that makes for stressful times and frustration from parents who know their kid can do things but isnโt.
What does this mean?
At the end of the day, your child wants to be a good student. They donโt want to struggle, and they donโt want to disappoint you or live in the land of frustration all of the time. If they are resistant to help, it may be out of fear of standing out from peers, fear of failure, or lack of confidence. When I talk to parents about coaching and educational support services, we often talk about the fact that this isnโt a lack of ability or intelligence. Rather, their child just hasnโt learned these skills yet; their brain is still โunder constructionโ and needs help and support to solidify these skills into habits and routines.
Training the Brain
So, how do we train their brain for success? It starts with identifying what is getting in the way. Sometimes that might be getting an educational assessment or talking to an educational specialist. Other times, itโs meeting with a tutor or educational therapist to help guide your child down the path to success. We always strive to foster a growth mindset and build confidence as students begin to gain new connections and start to utilize skill sets that are novel to them. We need encouragement to truly try new things and build confidence in the unknown or unfamiliar.
Training our brains takes time, patience, and effort. None of this is easy work, but believing they can be successful is half the battle. The rest is time! Creating new pathways can be mentally demanding and taxing, but it is also incredibly rewarding for students and their families.
Here are some tips and strategies to help foster that growth and confidence and to encourage your child to keep bridging those gaps on their road to success:
- Help them set realistic and attainable goals.
- Track progress over time, but encourage progress not perfection.
- Celebrate their wins!
- Help them build self-awareness through understanding what they are good at and identifying their own challenges/barriers to success.
- Model using things like a weekly calendar or planner, checklists, and reminders to show that these are common tools that others use to organize their lives.
- Guide them, donโt do things for them.
- Show patience, empathy, and understanding when they struggle.
- Model coping skills and strategies for dealing with stress.
- Encourage them to communicate with you and their teachers when they need help.
- Spend time doing fun things together so they donโt associate you with all the negative things about school or their learning challenges.
- Donโt be afraid to ask for help if you arenโt sure what to do.
If you feel like you or your child could benefit from additional support in the development of these skills, please feel free to reach out to us at Mind by Design to discuss how our services could benefit your family.